Life is a…..

While there are many decisions I regret making in middle school (getting fringe bangs are at the top of the list), there is one particular choice that I made that reigns supreme. That decision being…starting a Facebook page. I was 12 years old and I was completely enamored by the idea of Facebook, I could feel “cool” and social by simply scrolling through pictures and statuses on my computer (which was a desktop by the way….do those even still exist?). For some reason, I also thought it was socially acceptable and “cool” to upload albums (yes, albums) of webcam photos of myself and update my 35 friends on how I was bored (Actual Status: Ughhhhh…..I’m bored ), or how much I related to the lyrics of that one song Airplanes (Actual Status: Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, cause I could really use a wish right now wish right now….really feelin this song xxx). No joke, the first few months of my Facebook career consisted of me updating my status about 20 times a day and also “liking” every page that I remotely related too. My page liking habit started off standard, I stuck mostly to acknowledging my love for soccer (Actual Like: Christiano Ronaldo) , candy (Actual Like: Sour patch kids),  and teen dramas (Actual Like: One Tree Hill). However, the more time I spent obsessing over Facebook and the idea of portraying myself in a certain way through a computer screen, I began liking more interesting pages; I made it clear I was Anti-drugs (Actual Likes: I Don’t smoke!, Hugs not Drugs), I made it clear I was a child and still experienced a thing called summer (Actual Like: The feeling when you wake up on the first day of summer), and I made it REALLY clear that I wanted psychic powers (Actual Like: I WISH I COULD READ MINDS). While I swiped my Facebook clean of anything too incriminating and scowl worthy, some of my early likes, statues, and photos still linger for my own entertainment.

The only good thing to come out of my early Facebook usage was my avid interest in a particular page/group called FML (*rude f-word* my life, such a wholesome page for a 12-year-old to be following), it’s a page I still enjoy following and is a place where people can lament about the general crapiness of their lives. I feel I’ve grown so attached to this page and these stories because I am comforted by the fact that crappy things don’t just happen to me (Actual Status: Lost $10 in the locker room…my life suxxx )’:  ). The funny thing is back when I started following FML, I didn’t even have an idea of what an actually crappy situation was (No Maya, losing the $10 that you stole from your dad’s wallet is not the worst thing that’ll ever happen to you). No, an actual crappy situation is what happened to me today (ah, yes I’m finally cutting to the chase of this post 😉).

Saturdays are typically my DAY, I can sleep late, be without crying toddlers, and spend five hours straight watching true crime documentaries. However, for the past month or so, almost every Saturday has been dedicated to taking tests for my online math class. While this doesn’t seem like it would mess up my Saturday plans too terribly much, it does! I’m taking the class through a junior college and it’s one of those courses that I just have to survive through, overall the class is pretty simple all I have to do is homework questions and take the tests. The biggest issue I have is that the testing center I’m required to take the exams at is in another city that is a little over an hour away from where I live. So, every Saturday for the past month I have driven an hour each way to take an exam (I feel I should earn bonus points solely for the drive). One weekend, I got the hours of the center confused and arrived just two minutes before they stopped administering exams (I definitely escaped an FML moment there). This weekend I wasn’t so lucky, after a long Friday night of studying (Actual Status: Bored on a Friday, who wants to hang?),  I woke up early and drove the hour to get the test done.  When I got to the testing center I followed the normal procedures and approached one of the women who worked there in order to get the password for my exam. Let me also add that the women who work in that testing center must be active contributors to the FML page, cause they are ALWAYS in a less than happy mood. I gave the woman my ID and all the information I needed to take my exam, she quickly scanned it and typed furiously on her computer. After a minute, I started to get the feeling that something was wrong because it was taking much longer than it usually did, but I waited patiently and watched as she typed, furrowed her brow, typed, made a stink face, typed. Finally, after five minutes of funny faces and furious typing she turned to me and said

Woman: “We don’t have the test your wanting to take, you’ll have to get in touch with your professor and see why we don’t have it”

Maya: (VERY PATIENTLY) “You should have it, all the tests were made available on the first day of class which was two months ago…..I come here almost every Saturday to take an exam and I’ve never once had a problem,”

Woman: “Sorry, it’s out of my hands. There is a line forming, I’m going to need you to go.”

Maya: (MUCH LESS PATIENTLY): “I don’t understand why it wouldn’t be there, I can write out the information to make sure there isn’t a spelling mistake or anything. I drove over an hour to take this exam, so I really would hate to leave here without taking it”

Woman: (with stink face & furrowed brows) “I’m sorry but we can’t help you, now if you could please move along there are other people who need to be helped.”

Maya: (in her head, even though she thought about saying it aloud) “Sucks for them because you don’t seem to be helping people with their problems..”

And that folks, is a real FML moment (Actual Status: Had to run laps in athletics today, fml :/). I left the testing center without having taken a test and having an hour-long rage filled drive ahead of me. I spent the whole drive on the phone with my parents talking through how aggressive my email to my professor should be (it ended up being a good mix of aggression, outrage, and please pity me). Sadly it’s the weekend so my professor won’t even attempt to respond to my email or help with the problem till Monday or Tuesday. In the end, my professor is probably going to confirm that the testing center screwed up and offer me no kind of compensation for my wasted trip. All I have instead is a confirmation that my life enjoys complicating itself…..maybe it’s karma for being so entertained by other people’s FML moments.

P.S: I don’t typically elaborate on the songs I link in my posts because they typically speak for themselves. This however is my current “bad mood” jam…it celebrates my sorrow and makes me feel better at the same time! Also the artist is my ideal future husband; outlandishly tall, musically gifted, and a sensitive soul. So, if you know him or anyone older than 20 like him….don’t hesitate to hit me up! 😉

Catch you on the flipside!



2 thoughts on “Life is a…..

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