I’m Sorry…Can You Repeat That?

You know what I have always been good at? Memorization; I can listen to a song once and know the lyrics from start to finish (even songs in Spanish…I don’t speak Spanish by the way), and I know almost every capitol of the most obscure countries (thanks, freshman year geography!). The reason that little fun fact has any relevance to my current update (or rant, rant may more accurately describe this piece of writing) is because lately my memory and my mind in general have been lost. Where exactly have they gone, I’m not sure—but recently, I really haven’t been on top of my game. For starters, while taking a short trip home this past weekend I brought my computer along knowing that I’d want to write several blog drafts since I had some time, all was good and well until I arrived back from my trip only to realize I had left my computer at my parent’s house (I also didn’t get any drafts written…..). While leaving my computer isn’t the worst thing that could happen…it does make doing any of my homework for my online class quite impossible and it’s pretty hard for me to watch Netflix in bed without it (I currently can’t decide which of those two setbacks is worse). Along with leaving my computer, I also left an ENTIRE case of Bud Light Mango-ritas (yes I’m talking about the really crappy margaritas in a can, but I’ll take any adult beverages I can get my hands on these day ). Now I have to be completely honest, while my memory and accumulation of the most useless information in the world is always on point, my short term memory tends to slack a little…..I forget to take my laundry out of the dryer all the time (my clothes tend to be wrinkly on a regular basis…sorry mom!), most days I forget to put on my class ring (I only paid $600 for it), and I often times forget where I park my car (even when it’s in a lot with only 10 spots). So, as you can see I’m a master when it comes to knowing the exact date a movie came out, but I can’t remember where I set my phone down when coming home for the day! While these traits work in my benefit some days….they definitely have not helped me out at all this past week.

As I mentioned before, my week already started a little rough; I left my computer and my margaritas in a can back in Dallas (a real tragedy, I know)! In the grand scheme of things, leaving my stuff behind is not the worst thing in the world, I’ll be back in Dallas in a few days before I leave for vacation, but it just adds to my overall frustration level throughout the day. To add insult to injury, my mind has been in a complete daze for the past two weeks…..I’m not sure if I could tell you what color my hair is at the moment. My body is in full swing—I’m moving and shaking (okay…maybe not shaking, but you get the point) as I usually do,  but my mind has been in a complete fog, my coworkers and friends could be telling me the most juiciest piece of gossip and I wouldn’t even hear it (good gossip is my guilty pleasure). Today, I came into work almost two hours late because I forgot to set my alarm the night before, now like I said I forget many things but that is not one of them…..I lost two hours’ worth of pay for that (which is like barely $20….but it still sucks). This evening when heading home for the day, I drove all the way to my apartment (the one I moved out of on Saturday) not realizing I no longer lived there until I got all the way to the front door (my new house is about 15 minutes away of course). Honestly, I’m quite shocked my thoughts are clear enough for me to write this…..they may not be this may not make any sense at all, so if that is the case I’m excusing my mess now. Ultimately, I am desperately trying to figure out what is happening to me and my head at the moment, but I can’t….nothing really crucial is happening in my life, I’m a little stressed about school and work but nothing out of the ordinary. So, why is it that I cannot focus or think straight to save my life (this is not a rhetorical question…if you know please tell me ASAP)?

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My only redemption through this craziness is that I leave for vacation on Sunday. My only hope is that I will be out of this daze the minute I board the plane, nothing sounds worse than not being coherent while on vacation (especially since I will have 10 days away from work and tantrum throwing children)! If I can get it together…I will update everyone a little more on my vacation and all the interesting things that will be happening in my life. However, for now, I leave you with this…..Maya’s body is here but her witty, dry, and quirky self is GONE. If you find my mind though please do not hesitate to direct me to it….just warning you though, you’ll probably have to repeat yourself once or twice before I fully process what you say.

P.S: I was SO dedicated to writing this I drove all the way to the computer lab on campus to do it…..I really am going crazy!!!!=/=/

Catch you on the flipside!

Maya

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Thanks for the memories..

As a college student, there is truly nothing worse than when your quiet study place is ravaged by a bunch of noisy teenagers. Okay…maybe that scenario is a little personal and there are definitely far worse things that can happen to a college student. However, in my current race to finish a 12-week summer course in 4-weeks, that ranks pretty high on the list of “horrible things that can happen to a college student”. Let me set the scene for you; I arrive at Panera after a long day of work in order to study, I find a booth at the back of the restaurant in the area that is usually designated for studying (this designation is not official, but it’s a known fact that anyone who needs quiet sits in the back of the restaurant). I am relaxed getting my work done, wearing headphones and listening to my favorite playlist quietly for background music. When suddenly, my calm was interrupted by the storm….the storm being a group of seven (yes, seven) teenage girls. While I don’t typically have an issue with teenage girls (okay maybe they annoy me a little), I mean I was one about 18 months ago, this particular group of girls were not at Panera to sit and study quietly. No, these girls were at Panera to catch up, talk about starting high school next year, decide who was going to have their first kiss first, who they were going to prank call at their sleepover, and whose mom was going to pick them up after they finished eating. As you can probably tell, none of their conversations were quiet and they happened to be squeezed into the booth directly behind me. My first instinct was to turn the volume of my music to its loudest setting in hopes of drowning out their chatter, kind of how I used to do it back in my angsty teen years, but after about five minutes I had an ear-splitting headache (it sure does suck to get old). So, I abandoned my headphones all together and decided to work through the chatter….but I instead found myself getting caught up in the young girls’ 14 year old banter (It was pretty funny) and quietly reminiscing on my past as a young teenage girl (memories I usually prefer to keep buried pretty deep).

I often times joke with my friends and family that the real Maya went on vacation from the time she was 12 and didn’t return until she was about 16. The girl who took her place was much more annoying, incredibly awkward, didn’t know how to fix her hair (okay, the real Maya still doesn’t know how to do that either), couldn’t dress herself worth a crap, and cared far too much about what other people thought of her. Replacement Maya sounds real fun, doesn’t she!? Replacement Maya, while still pretty funny was often times quite naïve and immature; she thought fart jokes were hilarious and didn’t understand why boys weren’t flocking to her sweat pant wearing frizzy haired self. In all seriousness, those four years were definitely not my prime— I was weird (I still am but at least I own it now), I tried so incredibly hard to dress “cute” (there were lots of sparkles, Ed Hardy, and cheap Forever 21 jewelry involved), and I made many of my moral decisions based on what others may think. All of these emotions and memories came flooding back to me as I listened to these young girls exclaim that they could NEVER leave the house without make-up and that they all needed to start wearing overalls and chokers because it was so “cool”. As annoyed as I was with their presence and their incredibly loud conversation, I laughed and was thankful that I was past that era of life, and that replacement Maya was nowhere to be found (she’ll never be making a return by the way).

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Replacement Maya LOVED taking webcam pictures of herself…………

It is honestly crazy to think how much I have grown as a person, the even funnier thing to think about is how I thought I had my life under control and was “basically an adult” at age 14. At this age, I also had no idea what a mortgage was, had never worked a day in my life, and didn’t have a license….as far as I know those are just a FEW important concepts to understand when becoming “basically an adult”. As awkward as those years of my life were, I sure did have fun. I spent late nights hanging out with friends, my days were consumed by soccer and theatre (real Maya and replacement Maya were both very dramatic), and I did not spend any time worrying about school or grades or my future (very adult of me, right?). At that point in my life I had the luxury of having time to have loud conversations with my friends in a Panera, these days when I do have time to spend with friends…. I don’t even want to (all this work makes so antisocial..okay maybe I’ve always been a little antisocial). However, as fun as my life was then, I’m still pretty happy to have completed that chapter. These days I’m far less concerned with impressing people (today will be my 15th straight day of not wearing makeup), I embrace my differences and quirky personality, and I definitely don’t go out of my way to appease people solely because it will “make me look good”. Growing up and gaining responsibilities is never fun, but in the end who wants to spend their whole life feeling self-conscious, awkward, and fantasizing about their first kiss in a Panera?

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15 year old Maya couldn’t take a photo without her hand on her hip (LOL)!

While that group of girls took me down memory lane that night, they definitely did NOT help me finish any of my classwork or keep my adult priorities straight. Honestly, I had much more fun listening in, relating too, and giggling at their chat than I did finishing math problems. If any of those girls are reading this (I’m SO popular so I’m sure they are 😉) just know that in the grand scheme of things it isn’t going to matter what clothes you wear or who you impress when you’re 14, but the memories you make and lessons you learn are. So enjoy being 14 and care free while you can, even if it means surviving through the most awkward moments, you’ll laugh about them when your older I promise (at least I do, because I’m not laughing at me…I’m laughing at replacement Maya;)!

Catch you on the flipside!

Maya

The Bucket List

Has anyone ever wondered how the term “bucket list” came to be? Anyone…..or am I the only person lame enough to think so deeply about a glamorized list of goals. Well, if you were curious I did turn to Urban Dictionary (the MOST reliable source) to find a little more background on bucket lists. A bucket list, a list of things a person wants to do or accomplish before they die, was named after the popular saying to “kick the bucket”. So in more simplified terms- “bucket list” sounds much more exciting than “before I die…” list. Compiling information, planning, and list making rank as a few of my very favorite activities! I’m very much a type-A person (I definitely get that from my mom). So, not surprisingly I’ve been making bucket lists for myself since I was in 4th grade.. I feel that these lists I have been creating for years now are bucket lists rather than goal lists, because the goals or activities are sometimes quite vain and realistically….a lot of  the “goals” will never actually happen, but it never hurts to dream! For example, one of the items from my earliest bucket list was, “live in a high-rise apartment in New York City”. While this isn’t completely unrealistic, because I can’t predict the future and I don’t know where my life is going to take me, but it is unlikely that it’s going to take me to New York (I’m not really city girl) or to a million-dollar apartment (if I’m going to pay millions of dollars for housing I’m going to be living in a  Gatsby style villa not an apartment). I also giggled at some of pre-teen Maya’s bucket list goals such as “learn how to do make-up” (still waiting to accomplish that one) or “kiss a boy under the stars” (may have accomplished that, but if I keep anything unpublicized it’s my love life😉). Feeling nostalgic as ever, I decided to make an updated bucket list, a bucket list for my 20s; most of the items on this list are pretty silly but a few are serious, so I felt it’d be fun to share and maybe I’d be more likely to actually do them if they were in print (but who are we kidding, probably not).

#1: GET A PROFESSIONAL JOB

This is most definitely one of the few serious goals on this list. As I have detailed in other posts (okay, maybe ALL of my posts) I am beyond done with college. I’ve had my fun and I am ready to move on and to start making real money (my daycare job might as well pay in monopoly money….). As scary as it is to become an “adult” I think (emphasis on the THINK) I can handle it. I also am really excited to be a teacher, it definitely beats being the student!

#2: WALK THE BEACHES OF MYKONOS

Ever since I watched the movie Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants back in 2005, I have wanted (needed, actually) to visit Greece. In my opinion, it is the most breathtaking country with such a rich history—and the beaches look perfect for taking romantic evening strolls. I always figured it’d be my honeymoon spot if I get married, I also secretly hoped if I made it out to Greece I’d meet a handsome Greek man (not on my honeymoon obviously…those were separate thoughts). I like to believe this is one of my more realistic goals, so it made it to the top of the list!

#3: DO HUMANITARIAN WORK IN CENTRAL AMERICA

Aside from the odd angel tree or the few times I volunteered with Special Olympics, I feel as if I haven’t done my best at giving back or “paying it forward”. For a while now, I have had a real desire to make it out to Central America to lend a hand in any way I can; specifically, with building schools, teaching English, providing assistance to orphanages, etc. I really want to feel like I have helped or made a difference in some way on a global scale…..and I figure the sooner I can do this the better!

#4: LEARN TO PLAY AN INSTRUMENT

As obsessed as I am with music, it’s almost shameful that I don’t play an instrument. Don’t get me wrong I have definitely tried, I played saxophone in the 6th grade band and I got last chair EVERY week (last chair is a nice title for “worst player in the class”). I also dabbled in choir and musical theater when I was a teenager, but choral singing was never really my thing either. However, I think I could handle playing the maracas or maybe a hand drum? If I’m really feeling wild….maybe I can get someone to teach me how to play the recorder without busting someone’s eardrums (probably an impossible task).

#5: GET A TATTOO

Sorry mom and dad, but this one made the list too! Lucky for them, I have the lowest pain tolerance known to mankind, and I have yet to find something impactful enough to permanently print onto my body. But, if I figure it out one day and stop being a chicken, I am definitely going to get a tattoo! Yes, mom….it will be in a place that can easily be covered, don’t worry!

#6: GO TO COACHELLA

As a lover of all things music and musical festival obsessed, how could this have not possibly made the list? Unfortunately, Coachella is in the middle of a California desert (I live in Texas), it takes place in April (I am a student/soon to be working professional), and it’s crazy expensive (poor college kid/soon to be making teacher salary). While in the grand scheme things I would probably HATE Coachella; crowds, heat, and people in general are not really my thing ( and I heard through the grapevine Coachella offers all of these  to an extreme). However, it’s nice to fantasize about possibly jamming out to Beyoncé and maybe running into a celebrity or two whilst doing it.

#7: LEARN TO BE AND THRIVE AS AN INDEPENDENT ADULT

This is a big one, and probably the most important item. I am still quite young, 20 soon to be 21, and there are still SO many things I need to learn in order to really be considered an “adult”. My biggest fear has always been failure, and it’s scary to think that when I become a fully independent adult—I am going to be on my own, I won’t have my parents to mend all my problems and to fix my little failures. My only hope is that I figure out all this adult stuff soon, and along the way I can build a life for myself that I’ll be proud of.

Let’s hope when I revisit this list in a few years a couple of these “goals” will be checked off, and some will still probably be distant dreams….but only time will tell!

Catch you on the flipside!

Maya

NOW HIRING: Personal Chauffeur

Anyone looking for work? If so, I may just have a job for you; there is a slight catch though…you mostly likely will never receive a paycheck (I’ve already sold you, haven’t I?). However, in return for your work, you will receive plenty of quality time with yours truly and get to listen to some pretty great music. What exactly is the job? Well, I am in dire need of a personal driver….just someone who can magically appear whenever I need to get from point A to point B, that’s not too much to ask for, is it? I didn’t think so either, and to be honest they don’t even have to be the best driver in the world—as long as my car and my body arrive at their destination safely then I really could care less who was doing the driving, so long as it’s not me! Why is it that a need a driver? I own a car, a license, an (almost) clean driving record, and nothing is physically impairing me from driving, but for some surreal reason ever since I was able to actually drive myself places it completely lost its appeal. I remember counting down the days to my sixteenth birthday for months, because that represented the first day I could get into a car by myself and ride off into the sunset (if I passed my driving test of course, which I did by the skin of my teeth). Except as soon as I got my license, and began driving myself, I learned quickly that I HATED driving…..with a passion!

Driving meant so many things to me as a young teen: freedom to go places as I pleased, not having to wait outside my school for one of my parents to pick me up, and no longer having to rely on my mom to drive me to parties or to my friend’s house. It also meant more responsibility and such, as I was single handedly in charge of my own safety—a little fact that always seemed to slip my mind as I scratched off another day of my countdown. Now let me tell you, I loved to drive in the first few months that I got my license, it was so freeing to cruise around with the sunroof down in my blue Nissan Murano (RIP Delilah) listening to mix CDs that I illegally burned. The fun wore off quickly though, as I realized that driving required more focus than I was willing to have. Cars have always been my thinking place, something about the movement makes my mind wonder and I start daydreaming about everything EXCEPT the task at hand, which is driving. No joke, when I drive I’ll think about what I’m going to eat for dinner (even when it’s only 6 a.m.), or what I am going to do on the weekend (even if it’s Monday morning), or where I am going to buy my dress for my college graduation (which is in May of 2018). My point is….my mind goes so far off track when I drive making the job itself slightly difficult, If I had a dollar for every turn I missed or every time I have driven right past my workplace, I’d be a millionaire. I also love listening to music while I’m in the car, which tends to be another added distraction for me, I’ll get so into rapping TLC’s “No scrubs” that I won’t realize I’ve driven way past my apartment complex. So, long story short—I’m not the best driver in the world and I have the attention span of a toddler which makes for a real dilemma when it comes to operating a vehicle.

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My senior year parking spot; The ONLY reason I drove myself to school everyday!

My solution to this problem? Get a driver (or maybe a really good boyfriend, but I’m pro-volunteer driver at the moment) to haul my butt from place to place, thus giving me ample time to daydream and not have to worry about possibly driving myself off the road at the same time. Driving has become such a chore for me lately because I do it ALL the time; I go to and from work every day, I drive an hour to Houston at least twice a week to take exams for my online class, and if I want to go home and visit my parents I have about a four-hour drive to get there. I’ve also experienced some scary stuff in the past few months that has added to my list of reasons to hire (but not really “hire” because I’m broke) a driver; I hydroplaned and almost hit a tree one evening, I got stuck on a very busy highway during an insane thunderstorm, and I got a speeding ticket for going four (yes, four) miles over the speed limit. In the end, these experiences have definitely helped with my attention issues, but they haven’t made driving any more appealing.

Anyone who is friends with me knows that my hatred for driving is no big secret….heck, during the school year when my friends are actually in town they are my “personal drivers”. Major props to them though, cause I literally NEVER offer to drive places, and it’s just become a known fact that if you’re going to be friends with me you’re going to have to be willing to drive me….always. A handful of my friends have never even stepped inside of my car before, a few of my friends may even be under the impression that I don’t even own a car. Ultimately, this is all just a joke……which I hope most of you have caught onto, if not—please know that I am kidding about “hiring” a chauffeur. Why would I need to do that, when I have such amazing friends who willingly accept me as a passenger. They just need to come back to College Station ASAP, not only so they can drive me, but because I miss all my friends (by all, I mean like 4….). It’s pretty lonely in a college town during the summer; maybe I just need to look into hiring a buddy (wow that makes me sound super lame…) rather than a driver…..or maybe a combination of both? If your interested though, hit me up! 😉

Catch you on the flipside!

Maya

Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work…..

Currently it feels as if my life is imitating art, exactly how is this so? Well, at the moment my life is really mirroring that one song “Work” by a little unknown artist named Rhianna (maybe you’ve heard of her?). When I say that my life is imitating that song I mean it literally (especially because I feel like the true meaning of that song might be slightly dirty) …. but the past few weeks my life has consisted of work, schoolwork, housework, and every other kind of work you could possibly imagine. There’s really been no stopping, I go to my daycare job for 30 hours a week and when I’m not there busting my butt, I’m at Panera or Starbucks slaving over my online math class. Each day, even the weekends, is dedicated to some form of work. Although I can’t lie, I did somehow find the time to watch the entire new season of Orange Is the New Black, but let me tell you it took some serious work to prioritize watching an episode and balancing my actual responsibilities. While I have never minded being busy, I actually enjoy it because I find I’m much happier when I have goals to accomplish, but lately I’m starting to fall into a bit of a funk—I go to work, come home and do homework, maybe eat or sleep in between, and pretend like I’m going to start working out (the only kind of work I have NOT been doing). Right now, there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel…it’s summertime, none of my friends are in town, and I don’t have anything exciting to wake up to in the morning. I often times find myself just wanting to quit it all—quit my job, drop the class, and go back home for the summer like every other college student does. As nice as all that sounds, those are crazy decisions for several reasons; I need the money and I do like my job most days, I need the class to graduate on time (no way in hell am I staying in school for an extra semester), AND all the things I do now are tied to the bigger picture. The bigger picture—DIPLOMA NUMBER TWO (and a few adult responsibilities like a job, bills, you know standard stuff)!

Technically my college diploma will be diploma number three, I got a diploma for graduating pre-k back in 2000…. but that didn’t take a whole lot of work to get. To be honest, receiving my high school diploma really didn’t take a substantial amount of work either, let me tell you I had much more time to mess around when I was in high school and I still managed to get A’s without studying. College was a bit of a wake-up call for me to say the least, I remember I tanked my first calculus test and I didn’t understand why….I mean I reviewed my notes ONCE the night before the exam, after that and a few other hiccups I learned quickly that if I wanted diploma number two I was going to have to work a whole lot harder.  It hasn’t been an easy ride, but I finally got the hang of the college thing by the time I hit my junior year (not to brag…. but I’ve even made the College of Education’s honor list a few times). I also somehow managed a full class load whilst working at a daycare for almost two years now. Work and I have quickly become the greatest frenemies there ever was! But I feel lately that I’ve become infected with the most terrible illness any student could have, senioritis. I have made it so far and I am SO close to walking through Reed Arena (the stadium where graduation is held) with pomp and circumstance playing behind me…. yet, I have lost all motivation to keep working. How is this possible!? It’s as if I drove 27 hours all the way to Disneyworld and stop dead right at the entrance because I’m too tired to actually go in (that’s kind of a sucky comparison…but you get my point). All I want to do now is curl up in bed with my phone, my computer, maybe some Chex mix and a coke and stay there…. for about three days. Unfortunately, that diploma is pretty picky about who’s going to be its owner—and lying in bed sure isn’t going to help my cause.

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The WORST feeling in the world!

Trust me, I know anything good in life is going to require work but, it doesn’t hurt to fantasize about a couple of lazy days. While senioritis is REAL and unwavering, I am going to keep pushing through it. That diploma, while it is just a piece of paper, represents the accumulation of four years of blood, sweat, tears, and hard work. It is going to be a cold day in Hell before I quit now! Plus, that piece of paper also means I can move on with my life; get a professional job, establish a life, maybe (MAYBE) buy a new car. So, as hard as it is now to wake up at 6 am in the morning to go take care of toddlers and to come home at 6 pm and work on geometry…..I’m going to grit my teeth and keep doing it. In the end, all of this work is a step in the right direction, plus I’m making bank this summer AND I sure do love my babies at the daycare (even when they throw ridiculous tantrums and hand me boogers they’ve picked out of their nose). So for now, I’ll continue marching (or possibly twerking…that’s a joke) to the beat of Rhianna’s song…..it’s a pretty catchy tune, so it shouldn’t be too terribly hard!

 

P.S. I didn’t link the song I was talking about cause it honestly isn’t one of my favs….it just helped me emphasis the whole “work” theme of my update 🙂

Catch you on the flipside!

Maya